Last week I watched a documentary on Channel 5 featuring Kate Thornton, entitled ‘Anorexic: My Secret Past’.  (http://www.channel5.com/shows/my-secret-past-2/episodes/kate-thornton-anorexic-my-secret-past).  It’s taken me a few days to organise my thoughts about this, hence the slightly delayed blog post.  As I think I’ve said before, I’m always slightly dubious before I watch any programmes about eating disorders, especially ones featuring celebrities.  There’s a sense of apprehension… what spin will be put on it this time?

I was actually pleasantly surprised.  Apart from the fact that Kate didn’t really distinguish between anorexia and bulimia, saying that she struggled with anorexia but then describing how she used to make herself sick, it was one of the more accurate programmes I’ve watched.  Kate said a few things that made a lot of sense – things that only someone who has been through it could say.  She commented that eating disorders are emotional illnesses and only you can make yourself better, and that you have to be ready and actually want to get well.  She also said that eating disorders have many victims – not just the sufferer.  At this point I looked at my Mum (who was watching it with me), and she looked at me, and our shared glance spoke so many words that we didn’t need to say out loud.

Kate also said “Give someone the tools they need and they will help themselves get better”.  I agree with this to some extent, but in my opinion I also believe that everyone already has the tools they need to get better within themselves – they just need to be reminded of that from time to time.  So when they forget how much positive stuff they still have ahead of them to live for, I remind them.  And when they feel weak and powerless and out of control, I let them know that actually it’s the opposite.  That they are strong simply for asking for help.  That even just wanting to get better but not feeling 100% capable of achieving it, is a step forwards in the right direction, and a chink in the armour of the anorexia’s defences. 

There were the usual ‘experts’ voicing their opinions.  Most I disagreed with totally, especially the one who casually commented “if you’re lucky, recovery will be at least two years, and for most people it’s 4-5 years plus”.  At the risk of being slightly controversial – that’s absolute rubbish.  With the right help, ie: actually resolving the root cause behind why the eating disorder has manifested, recovery can be as fast as the person wants it to be.  One man though, a consultant psychiatrist, actually spoke some sense when he described eating disorders as “…being like an addiction, and trying to fight against it.  Every time you eat, you get stronger against the illness.”  I like that, because it’s exactly how I felt.

As usual, there were various case studies – inspirational people who are in recovery and battling to beat their demons, and people still struggling and totally trapped in the eating disorders all-consuming depths.  Funny how there are never any case studies of people who have fully recovered.  This is why people who are still struggling with eating disorders come to see me for help.  They know I’ve been through it myself and come out the other side – I can help give them the hope that they too can beat it and emerge even stronger as a result.  Because I believe they can.  With every single client I have ever seen for an eating disorder so far, and with every single client I will see in the future, I always have 100% faith and belief that they will get better.  That never falters, even when they come back week after week reporting that they have lost yet more weight, or that they are still making themselves sick. All that means is that we are getting closer.  The eating disorder fights back when it feels threatened.  When someone starts to make progress, the battle can sometimes become even harder.  And that can actually be a good thing – it means that we are getting closer, that we are nearly there.  And once we find the right place to tap, the closely guarded key to it all, we’ll win.  And we do.

There was a part of the programme that talked about the possibility of anorexia being genetic.  Scientists have found that a part of the brain, called the ‘insular’, doesn’t work properly in people struggling with anorexia.  They suggest that with anorexia the insular has a ‘faulty’ neurotransmitter profile, which makes the person 11 times more likely to suffer with anorexia than people who don’t have this profile.  It’s an interesting idea.  I don’t know enough about it to give an opinion – I’ll have to do some proper research into it.  I’d love to hear your thoughts though, so please do feel free to leave a comment below.

The more of these programmes I watch, and the more comments underneath the website links that I read, the more one thing is becoming clear to me – that clinics, and NHS help and support just don’t understand.  It’s a constant source of frustration to me that eating disorder clinics won’t give me the time of day, when I know that I can help people get better.  They think that their way is the only way.  Well, it’s not.  I’m proof of that.  And I’m making it my mission to help them open their minds to other ways to help people get better.  One in 5 people struggling with anorexia will die.  That’s 20%.  It breaks my heart to think that if only they got the help they needed, that most of them actually ask for, they could have got better, and lived the lives they so desperately wanted to live.  I was lucky.  I got that help.  And I’m going to use everything I have, in the most powerful and positive ways that I can, to help as many other people recover as possible.  So Kate, if you happen to be reading this – get in touch.

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