I finally made it to bed about 3 hours later.

The article posed the question: If you only had one month to live, what would you change?

It described a couple of exercises to complete, which I have outlined below:

1.   Years to live…  Ask yourself - what would you do and who would you be if you had 20 years to live, 10 years, 5 years, 2 years, one year, 6 months, 3 months, 30 days, one day?    For each one, limit yourself to writing for a maximum of 10 minutes.

2.  Big Life Questions…  If you only had one month to live, what would you change?  If you were certain your life was going to end in a few weeks, what would be your biggest regret and why?  If you knew you only had one month to live, what material goods would you give away/sell/put in the the bin?  For what would you like to be remembered and how are you contributing to this goal right now? 

Doing these exercises certainly gave me an awful lot to think about - it’s made me realise what is really important to me, what my priorities are, and the way in which I really want to live my life.  I’m still thinking about it all now.

Why not give it a try?  What would you change if you only had 30 days to live?

Then this popped into my inbox (courtesy of www.innerspace.org.uk):

“Even when you feel as though things aren’t going well in your life, you have reasons to be grateful.  Today, take time to appreciate the gift of life and all its wonders.  Count your blessings and cherish what you have.”

As I read those three sentences, the dark cloud started to lift a little bit, and a small ray of sunshine forced it’s way through, as I did exactly what it suggested.  I thought of everything I have in my life that I am grateful for - my three incredible daughters (little miracles in their own right considering I was once told I would never be able to have children); the love and support of my partner; my wonderful family; my loyal friends; the work I do to help other people overcome issues such as the ones I’ve been battling recently; my home; my health… the list goes on.  

This simple exercise has really made me realise that I am so lucky in so many ways.  And the ironic thing is that I suggest to virtually every single client I see that they do this - that every night before they go to sleep they write down ’Three Gifts’ that they have noticed that day that have made them feel good or happy.  It could be something small, like seeing a rainbow or hearing their favourite song on the radio, or it could be something bigger, like getting the promotion at work that they’ve been working towards for ages, or achieving a personal goal that they’ve set themselves.  On a cognitive level it helps prime the brain to look for the positive (and the more you look for it the more likely you are to find it), and on an emotional level it simply feels good.

I think perhaps I might start taking my own advice, and do this every day.  Why don’t you try it too?  Sometimes the smallest things can make the biggest difference.

by Linda Ellis

I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
From the beginning to the end

He noted that first came the date of her birth
And spoke the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years

For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not how much we own;
The cars, the house, the cash,
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard.
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left,
That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
To consider what’s true and real
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger,
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect,
And more often wear a smile
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy is being read
With your life’s actions to rehash
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?

I was given this book by a friend of mine when my first daughter was born (she is 3 and a half now), and just recently she has been asking me to read a story from it to her every night before she goes to sleep.  I love the summary at the end of each story - very simple and succinct values that you can choose to interpret in any way that you like.  Through reading this book with my daughter I am reminded every evening about what is and isn’t important in life, so I thought I would share them…

1.  Sometimes we can feel helpless when faced with a great challenge.  A wise person knows that love and compassion can give them the courage to achieve things that they thought were impossible.

2.  All to often we open our mouths in anger without thinking what might happen next.  A wise person thinks before they speak, and if they can’t say something kind, they keep silent.

3.  Sometimes it feels like there’s no option but to fight our way out of a difficult situation.  A wise person knows that it’s their intelligence, not their physical strength, that will help them to win in the end.

4.  It’s all to easy to lose our patience with people and act unkindly.  A wise person knows that showing kindness and compassion is the most effective way to bring out the best in others.

5.  We all need friends with whom to share precious times and memories, and to help us in times of need.  A wise person knows that they can find a friend among even the most unlikely of characters.

6.  It can be tempting to go our own way rather than to work together with others.  A wise person knows that they can achieve much more as part of a team than on their own.

7.  What we first see may not always give us the whole picture.  A wise person knows that to discover the truth about anything, they must learn from other people’s insights as well as their own.

8.  Life presents all sorts of difficulties and often puts obstacles in our path.  On these occasions it is all too easy to give up.  A wise person knows that if they keep trying, they will eventually succeed.

9.  People who are lazy disappoint themselves as well as others.  A wise person works hard so that they can enjoy the rewards and have the satisfaction of knowing they did their best.

10.  We can all benefit rom listening to the wisdom that others have gained from experience and are kind enough to teach us.  A wise person knows that there is a time to play and a time to learn.

11.  Greed and selfishness spoil things for everyone.  A wise person realises that the way to true happiness is through sharing whatever they have, no matter how little that may be.

12.  Sometimes it is tempting to show off to others and brag about our special qualities, abilities and achievements.  A wise person is confident yet modest about their best traits and talents.

13.  When we tell lies, we cause both ourselves and others to suffer, whereas when we tell the truth, we make the world a happier and richer place.  A wise person knows that honesty is always the best policy.

14.  When we are greedy we become unhappy because we never feel that we have enough.  A wise person appreciates whatever they have and is thankful for anything they are given.

15.  By keeping promises and being kind and forgiving, we make the world a better place for everyone.  A wise person shows compassion for others, even when they have been hurt by them.

16.  Often we don’t give enough thought to our behaviour.  A wise person acts with respect and sympathy toward all beings, treating them in the same way that they would like to be treated themselves.

17.  If something appears too good to be true - it probably is.  A wise person knows that no matter how tempting something appears, it is always prudent to act with caution.

18.  Sometimes it is easy to let fear and jealousy cloud our judgment.  A wise person knows that there is enough love in their heart to give to every living creature in the world.

19.  It is only natural to want things to stay as they are, but life is a journey and change is unavoidable.  A wise person accepts this and enjoys each precious moment as fully as they can.

20.  It can be tempting to ignore the facts when we wish they were different.  A wise person knows the importance of facing up to the truth and they tackle every challenge head on.

Sweet dreams…